Of buggies and carriers

Well, and today that M is turning 11 months we have assembled the stroller and used it causing a wave of opposing feelings to beat on me.
M always used to complain a lot every time we tried to use the stroller and I felt stupid pushing it while wearing her so very soon I took on to wearing her all the time and forgot about the buggy.
M is getting a bit heavier and after feeling a bit weak last week today I decided to give the stroller a go.  It felt so very odd to have her look at the landscape and me push her without being able to see or touch her face. I must say I absolutely love to carry her.
Surprisingly she seemed to enjoy the stroll -around the garden. Well, for the first ten minutes...
I have realized that this doesn't really work for us, it is not the way we relate to each other, and it makes us both feel strange. She needs me as much as I need her and it is absurd to push a baby who screams because she needs the comfort of her mother's body while feeling empty because I am used to wearing her close to my heart.
As long as she needs it and my strength is enough, we will go on using the baby carrier.

The way we parent; or reflections on daily routines

As we were bathing M last night, my husband made me notice the way he has to rinse our daughter's hair. Of course, I already knew, I had seen him doing it many times. He dips his own hands in the water and strokes M's hair a hundred times. I only laughed at him and at how ineffective the system looks. I also happen to mention that M's hair always has a sticky lock due to this so very gentle rinsing method.

How do I do it, anyway? I always start gently pouring water on her head with the best of intentions. "This time it won't pour on her face" I tell myself, but in the end it does and she starts crying and wants to leave the bath immediately. The consequence being that some shampoo remains also in her hair.
Somewhat offended my husband has looked at me and said: "We are always talking about how to parent respectfully, how to do things the most respectful way and there you laugh at my method".
How right he is! If neither way can completely rinse M's hair, we better have the one that doesn't make her cry.

Some cozy nooks -M's room-

These last weeks we have been busy rearrenging our house so M can crawl everywhere and stand up on furniture with no danger.  Now that she crawls up and down at her will, she can decide where to spend time so we have set some activities for her in nearly each room of our house. There is, of course, her room, where she doesn't sleep yet but where there is a mattress so she can rest whenever she feels like it. I have to admit she has never used it but to climb, but there it is. The decoration in the room is scarce:  two pegs with marine elements ( a mermaid, and a flounder) on one wall; a picture made of knitted letters with M's name on another; a low shelf with a cloth dice and a cuddly elephant. There are also two baskets in the room, one with some books and the other with a weekly activity, as I mentioned in my last post. This week we have several pieces of fabric; a woolen scarf, a silk handkerchief, some velvet mittens, a piece of flannel, and a remnant of corduroy. She has scarcely paid attention to this, so interested she is in looking at the books, but I am already thinking ahead. I will prepare a matching activity with these remnants.

Hats on

In M's room there are two baskets, one containing several board and cloth books --including one I made myself; the other a weekly activity. This past week we had several hats in it: two straw pamelas with ribbons, a knitted cap, a bonnet, and a peaked cap. 

Once a day M checks the basket and although she is not very attracted to the hats, she enjoys seeing me taking one by one and trying them on. I offer one hat to her but she doesn't want to wear anything on her head.

This activity was intended both to make the routine of getting dressed a funny thing and as an introduction to body vocabulary. She already identifies the nose. I have realized one could do many other activities with the hats. They are made of different materials, have various sizes, and so on. However, since M is still very young and she is not very keen on putting on hats not even to have a look at the mirror, I will keep the activity for later on. Tomorrow I will change the contents of the basket... and will let you know what our new treasure hamper contains. I have several ideas...

A day trip to the city

Today we've gone to, in my opinion, the most enchanting neighborhood in Barcelona; Gracia. It was my idea to do a trip once a week but since it has been raining most of the week we have kept putting it of until today. It was raining as we set out this morning but my Little One seemed to enjoy the rain on her face.

One of the most exciting things of this neighborhood is that you always find a new store, workshop, or whatever and they can be incredibly creative. Today we have discovered a bagel shop! I adore bagels and was very disappointed to find out that the one bagel shop in Barcelona (Canuda st.) had been swept away by the ¿?crisis. So first thing on our arrival to the Plaza del Sol this morning, this pretty tiny corner shop with a large assortment of bagels. Later on we have dropped by the English 2nd hand bookstore and bought a book for papatò, another one for mamatò, and a Charlie and Lola board book for Little one. They had a cozy nook for children and she has enjoyed it until the lower shelves of bookcases were too appealing. One of her favorite activities currently is to take books out of the shelf...

We have had lunch at a gorgeous place called La Nena, a child-friendly restaurant where my lovely daughter has played a while with some blocks and then dived into her father's salad to pick the tomatoes. I have enjoyed a quiche and a mango juice myself. We have later got some nice tea, the expensive one we seldom buy. Its sweet parfum will remind us of a wonderful day.

Just rambling is wonderful. There are so many things to look at and enjoy.

Ten months already

Alongside this change of style I have decided to make, I will also change the language I use.

Now that my baby has turned ten months, I will start keeping a journal of her progress and of the activities we do. She has already a journal where I write to her since before her birth. The one here intends to be of a more public nature.

Some months ago, when she was around six and a half months and starting to sit upright on her own I collected some sensorial items and placed them on a basket.

This idea was inspired by Montessori's treasure baskets. Some of the objects I gathered were: a pineapple, a toothbrush, a silk neckerchief, a piece of string, a shell, a tiny tin box, a beaded necklace. She used to devote much time and dedication to the objects in that treasure basket, picking up one by one and scattering them all.

Today -she is ten months already- I placed the basket on her playing mat again, after having removed it for some weeks, and not only has she showed interest again but a kind of "I am already acquainted with this" feeling. She has taken every object and played with her favorite; the necklace, until one of her feet has got caught in it.

Peces que se muerden las colas II

Y con este artículo, ahora sí, cierro una etapa para dar paso a un blog más dinámico donde daré cuenta de las actividades que hacemos mi hija y yo en el día a día. No digo que nunca más vaya a publicar un artículo de opinión, reflexión o similar, pero en general discurriré más acerca de educación que de crianza. Ha llegado un momento en que parece que siempre digo lo mismo, y no quisiera hacerme pesada...

Para despedir este bloque, dejadme expresar, a modo de resumen, algunas de las ideas que me vienen a la cabeza cuando pienso que somos minoría los que criamos con respeto y apego.

Una conocida que tiene dos hijos me comentaba hoy cómo con su primer hijo, que ahora tiene 4 años, llevó a cabo una crianza más bien convencional y no tenía buena relación con él. Al nacer su segundo hijo, su manera de entender la crianza cambió y se volvió mucho más respetuosa, cambios que aplicó, como es natural a su relación con el hijo mayor y su relación, dice, también mejoró. Ahora se entienden muy bien. Yo le he preguntado qué es lo que le hizo cambiar de perspectiva y su respuesta ha sido rotunda: tener tiempo.

Y sí, me parece que tener tiempo es algo esencial para criar a hijos sanos, llevando a cabo una relación saludable y respetuosa. Y precisamente, tiempo es lo que generalmente nos falta en nuestra sociedad y época.

Por falta de tiempo, multitud de bebés van a la guardería a una edad demasiada temprana y pasan en ellas demasiado tiempo. Por falta de tiempo, la introducción de alimentos y el destete se hacen a una edad demasiado temprana y de maneras no respetuosas. Por falta de tiempo, se ignoran necesidades vitales del bebé como la fusión emocional con uno de sus cuidadores. Y así podríamos seguir haciendo una lista.

El pez se muerde la cola porque para que el bebé pueda quedarse con alguien que no es la madre, deberá dejar de tomar pecho -si es que tomaba, claro-; en vez de alimentos sólidos, para los cuales los bebés humanos están preparados tomará papillas y triturados por mor de la falta de tiempo (a parte de por miedos varios). Por falta de tiempo, en definitiva, el bebé queda arrojado fuera de la fusión con la madre y expuesto, quien sabe, a situaciones en que no se respetan su naturaleza e individualidad.